The Least Compatible Zodiac Signs

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Why do you think Zodiac figures have all those horns, hooves, arrows and stingers? So they can FIGHT each other, that’s why. And when a Zodiac sign is sitting at home sharpening up weapons, who do you think they’re really dreaming of stabbing? Here’s who hates who the most…
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Aries

Libra. Aries doesn’t care for indecisiveness. Make up your mind! If there’s one thing he hates more than indecisiveness, it’s indecisiveness about abstractions that aren’t about ME. Libra lives in that zone.
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Taurus

Scorpio. Taurus doesn’t like Scorpio because everybody thinks Scorpio is All That – including Scorpio – when Taurus just knows full well he could smack his punk azz all day long. Plus, Scorpio owes Taurus 30 bucks from 1998.
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Gemini

Sagittarius. It’s all envy. Sagittarius has all Gemini’s wit, PLUS seriousness and real idealism. Sagittarius makes Gemini feel small and superficial. But what Gemini really hates is that Sagittarius tells funnier jokes.
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Cancer

Capricorn. Capricorn makes Cancer nervous. Crabs have that hard shell, but it’s because they are all soft and delicious with butter inside. Capricorn is as ambitious as Cancer, but know what’s inside Capricorn? Solid bone, baby.
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Leo

It doesn’t matter the Sign. Leo doesn’t notice you enough to be ‘incompatible’ with you. He just keeps on smiling.
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Virgo

Pisces. Generally, Virgo has no problem with Pisces. He is just disgusted that Pisces still thinks Evanescence is the height of emo-pop and REFUSES to explore deeper than the Top 40. And since Pisces refuses to take emo-pop seriously, Virgo refuses to talk to him.
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Libra

Aries. Libra doesn’t respect Aries’ “Act first Think later” attitude. Is there any interior life at ALL there? Hello? Inwardly, Libra would like Aries’ parents to have beat him more often. Then he feels awful about having thought that.
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Scorpio

Taurus. Scorpio doesn’t like it that he can’t make Taurus afraid of him. It almost seems like hostility, like he’s owed money or something. Scorpio also thinks Taurus is stupid, on account of his being so unnervingly calm. ‘Bet he wouldn’t be so calm if I hit SEND on his private sex tapes he doesn’t know I have’…
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Sagittarius

Gemini. Sagittarius knows he’s quick. He also knows Gemini is just a little quicker. He knows he needs deep study and multiple degrees and certifications to get where Gemini gets just off the top of his head. And it freaks him out.
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Capricorn

Cancer. Capricorn is envious of Cancer’s loved ones. He doesn’t get as many birthday cards. His family relations feel cold next to what Cancer has. Cancer is what Capricorn would’ve been, without all the sacrifice.
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Aquarius

Truth? Aquarius likes everybody. And nobody in particular. At 1:00 he’ll give you the shirt off his back. At 1:15 he’ll have forgotten your name. He just keeps on smiling.
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Pisces

Virgo. Pisces thinks Virgo is trying to accomplish with the mind what can only be achieved with the soul. (No, we don’t know what that means either). Pisces would love to educate Virgo, but he’s also afraid of Virgo, who says SUCH mean things…
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