How Science Has Improved Growing Weed

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Marijuana plants grow best in tropical environments and yield a more THC-potent crop. So, how do farmers grow such righteous weed in places like Colorado, Washington and Canada? Science. Over the last 50 years, intense research and new growing methods have produced a doobage of such high quality, Ganja can be harvested just about anywhere. Even in your mom’s basement. Let’s have a look at how science has vastly improved the yield and quality of bud to such a high degree, it would be unrecognizable to your average 60s Hippy. Far out, Man!
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Marijuana Cloning

Weed scientists have perfected the art of female cloning. Since only the female leaf produces THC, what do you need males for? Kind of like the Feminist Movement…
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Marijuana Pest Resistance

Weed strains grown in labs fare much better in the wild, due to hybrid techniques which yield plants highly resistant to pests. Except for Bogarts…
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Marijuana Fruition Time

The Flowering Stage, or harvesting time, has been greatly accelerated thanks to scientific methods which, effectively, skip over annoying and unnecessary mid-stage growth periods. It’s like Weed on Speed…
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Marijuana Geometric Traits

End-stage Moota leaves can grow pretty hairy. More compact hybrids not only yield more crop, they allow more narrow soil spacing. Get a haircut, ya bum!
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Marijuana Color

Gone are the days when brown buds were looked down upon as inferior to green. Now, the closer to gold a plant gets, the higher its value. Kind of like the Stock Market…
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Marijuana Flavor And Aroma

“Skunk” weed was once the most desirable of strains, but could be smelled hours after being pulled over by the cops. These days, it’s Beer Breath that will more likely land you in the pokey, rather than going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs…
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Marijuana “Bag Appeal”

Aside from actually hitting the hay, color used to be the way Vipers gauged the quality of nickels and dimes on sight alone. Weed doctors have perfected the art of making even the weakest strains appear to be as potent as Hawaiian Thunderf**ck. Where’s the FDA when you need them?…
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Marijuana Crop Yields

More efficient growing methods have, naturally, produced bumper crops with less profit-killing overhead costs like smelly fertilizer and pesky fresh water. After all, weed doesn’t grow on trees you know…
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Marijuana Potency

By far, the greatest contributions from a scientific approach to growing better Rasta is how much stronger Schwag has become. And, prices have come down at the same time. Obviously, scientists are probably not testing out the end product on themselves. Otherwise, they would have forgotten to write any of this sh*t down…
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